3 signs your definition of success is harming you
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR DEFINITION OF SUCCESS COULD BE WORKING AGAINST YOU?
I know it seems weird to think that how you view success can be tripping you up, but that’s exactly what happened to me. I came to realize that so much of what had driven me to succeed “worked” in that I achieved and had results to show for it, but there was definitely a shadow side to those same driving behaviors that were hurting me.
Some of what we believe is deeply ingrained because we are constantly bombarded with messaging in our society about what success looks like and what it takes to achieve it. It can actually be hard to identify exactly what you believe that could be hurting you.
So, let’s identify what could be holding you back.
1. Your idea of what it takes to be successful.
Tune into your inner dialogue and thoughts around what you believe it requires to achieve success. Do you tell yourself that success requires grueling hard work? Long hours? Hustling, grinding, missing out on personal priorities?
If any of this resonates, it makes sense. You’ve been conditioned to believe “that’s what it takes” to get to where you want to go, but it’s also the answer to why satisfaction may be eluding you. There’s no way to be truly fulfilled once you reach your desired outcome if the journey to the outcome sucks the life out of you in the process.
2. Hyper-focus on tangible outcomes.
How do you measure your success? What boxes are you checking? The common success paradigm points us to money, title, status, and material possessions as the gold standards.
Those things aren’t necessarily bad, but they also don’t possess any magical power. Checking those boxes won’t automatically come with a sense of fulfillment or satisfaction, though, once again, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we’ll be happy once we’ve “made it.”
3. Emphasis on weaknesses rather than strengths.
We are taught to look at what we need to be better at, rather than looking at where we naturally kick ass. A desire to improve isn’t a bad thing, but by being overly focused on what’s not good enough vs. where you shine, you run the risk of becoming a perpetual student. You may chronically feel as if you have to learn one more thing or get one more certification before you’re “ready” for something, which is a very effective way to procrastinate and postpone taking a step that may have some fear associated with it.
Work from your strengths. Appreciate them. Know where you need people with complementary strengths in your areas of weakness so that you can build strong collaborations or teams.
When you’re more aware of the conditioning that’s holding you back, you have the power to change it.